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Created on 2009-04-09 21:08:48 (#28863), last updated 2010-09-16 (370 weeks ago)

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Name:BDSM Meta-Discussion & Community
Location:(states/regions/territories)
Membership:Open
Posting Access:All Members
Community description:BDSM Meta-Discussion & Community
This is a multi-gender, multi-orientation community for the discussion of BDSM practice and theory. Have you been musing over the overlap between your kink life and your mundane life? Do you owe Home Depot a tidy sum for the hidden fittings in your bedroom? Would you like to share your blueprints? Are you exploring a new technique and would like to ask for guidance? Would you like to air out something that happened in headspace the other day while in the company of like-minded individuals?

We don't just want narrations of What You've Done. We don't want play-by-play discussions of scenes or play parties. We want to talk about the meta -- what it makes you feel, why you do it. We want to talk about the hows -- not the "this is what I did", but the "this is why I did it" or "this is how I decided to do it" or the "this is how I built the things to do it".

This is not a forum for erotic fiction or images. We invite explicit and frank discussion -- to inform and elucidate. Photos should be limited to images that contribute to the discussion. No advertising. Not of your website, your business, or of other communities. A passing mention in context is fine, but no spam. Nor is this a place to shop for the partner of your dreams. It's not a place to be an idiot, either. We don't like idiots. We ban them.

Please also do not post "Hi, I'm new here!" introductory posts. This is appropriate stuff to include in a post if you're using it to make a point during discussion, and it's a good thing to establish your bona fides during discussion so everyone can evaluate what you're saying, but with numerous community members we run the risk of being overrun entirely with introductory posts. If you want to introduce yourself, pick a topic of discussion or a question for the crowd and post about it, with a paragraph on the bottom introducing yourself.

Let's start with the golden rule of BDSM and branch out from there, shall we?

1) This will be a safe environment -- there will be no harassment of other users because they happen to have a different opinion than you. There will be no personal attacks. There will be no baiting. If you're a dick, you'll be banned. Don't be a dick.

2) No matter which side of the whip we're on, we're all equals. We respect traditions, but we don't adhere to them. No quibbling about proper capitalization. And never assume that you deserve respect because you're the one holding the sharp object. There will be submissives here, but unless you've entered into a contract, they are not your submissives.

3) Sanity, as far as this community goes, means having a grasp on the difference between reality and fantasy. We're here to discuss an intense subject. This can make for a raw, emotionally-charged environment. Another's kink may not be your own; there is great diversity in this community. Respect that. Respect your limits. If you can't, you'll be banned.

4) Diversity aside, you need to stay on topic. This is a forum for the discussion of and questions about erotic power exchange, sensation and pain play, and the giving and accepting of control in order to get off. Off-topic posts will be deleted. Not sure if it's on topic? Feel free to ask. But if you have to ask, the answer's likely to be "no."

5) Be coherent. Be literate. Be polite. You do not leave your etiquette at the door -- this is a public space. If you can't act in an adult manner -- if you can't think before you type -- you're not welcome.

6) We are queer-friendly, trans-friendly, kink-friendly, polyamory-friendly -- and we're also straight-friendly, normal-friendly, monogamy-friendly, and just about any other kind of -friendly you can imagine. We respect diversity and require the same respect from community members.


What isn't allowed here?

Based on our experience moderating this communiy on LiveJournal, we've found it helpful to explicitly spell out the types of posts not allowed here:

  • Scene recaps or "what we did this weekend".
  • Personal ads or "I'm looking for a master/mistress/sub". Find your soulmate, or at least your dungeonmate, elsewhere; there are many websites for such a purpose.
  • Photos that do not contribute to a specific discussion point you're trying to make. No entirely-images posts, please; we're too lazy to comply with the rules regarding adult-image communities.
  • "Hi, I'm new here" posts.
  • Assholes. If you have to ask if you're being an asshole, you probably are.
  • Community politics. Nobody's better or worse than anyone else because they submit or are submitted to. Check the egos at the doors.
  • Spam of all kinds, including:
    • Promotions for other communities.
    • Links to crafts, etc, you're selling. (Discussion of how/why you did it is okay, though.)
    • Announcements for your events. We all don't live near you. Promise. Cross our hearts.
    • Links to your porn site. (Not that the porn spammers hitting LJ ever read community userinfo, anyway.)
    • Announcements for your zine or other venture. We'd probably mock it if we read it.
(All forms of spam will be deleted and the entry will be marked as spam. If you get enough legit spam reports made against you, you will be hearing from LJ Abuse. Half of your friendly maintainer team is one of the people who handle those reports, so this really isn't the community to spam.)



The maintainers reserve the right to ban anyone at any time for violating any of these rules.
If any of these rules seem too draconian on read-over, this probably isn't the community for you. There are a number of BDSM-centric communities on the internet that may better suit your needs.

MEMBERS UNDER THE AGE OF MAJORITY

(aka, the Cover Our Asses Clause)

This community will contain adult discussion. While it is not a violation of United States law to expose a minor to clinical discussion of adult topics, it can be a violation to expose a minor to text which is designed to arouse; it is usually a violation of both United States law to knowingly expose a minor to images containing nudity or other adult content; and it is always a violation of United States law for a minor to post any image of him or herself depicting nudity or intended to arouse or provoke.

Because of these statements, we ask that individuals not join the community unless they are over the age of 18, and we ask that all members refrain from posting images which contain nudity or other adult material if the images do not contain artistic value or contribute to the discussion topic at hand.

At this time, we do not feel it is necessary to require age-verification statements and make all posts to the community Friends Only, as this community will be primarily aimed towards discussion of the lifestyle and issues raised by the lifestyle rather than primarily designed to contain erotic writing or adult images. However, if we become aware that any member is under the age of 18, we will remove that individual from community membership.

We ask any community member to post any content which they feel may contain significant adult content with the Members Only (friends-only) security setting, and if the material may also fall under the United States laws regarding furnishing adult material to minors, with a tag clearly indicating it is adult material.

In short, and without the legal garbage:

You have to be 18 to post or read here. We're really very sorry about that. If we find out that you're under the age of 18, we have to remove you from the community. We think that's silly, because we think it's important for young people to have a safe forum to discuss this topic, where they can get safe, sane, and rational information without all the garbage, misinformation, and hysteria surrounding the topic. We don't make the laws, though. (The world would be different if we did.)

We've kept this an open community, because we're lazy. If we find that you're under 18, we will delete your posts and/or comments and ban you from the community, though. We're obligated to do this by law.

Your maintainers are
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<username=sarahq>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

This is a multi-gender, multi-orientation community for the discussion of BDSM practice and theory. Have you been musing over the overlap between your kink life and your mundane life? Do you owe Home Depot a tidy sum for the hidden fittings in your bedroom? Would you like to share your blueprints? Are you exploring a new technique and would like to ask for guidance? Would you like to air out something that happened in headspace the other day while in the company of like-minded individuals?

We don't just want narrations of What You've Done. We don't want play-by-play discussions of scenes or play parties. We want to talk about the meta -- what it makes you feel, why you do it. We want to talk about the hows -- not the "this is what I did", but the "this is why I did it" or "this is how I decided to do it" or the "this is how I built the things to do it".

This is not a forum for erotic fiction or images. We invite explicit and frank discussion -- to inform and elucidate. Photos should be limited to images that contribute to the discussion. No advertising. Not of your website, your business, or of other communities. A passing mention in context is fine, but no spam. Nor is this a place to shop for the partner of your dreams. It's not a place to be an idiot, either. We don't like idiots. We ban them.

Please also <b>do not</b> post "Hi, I'm new here!" introductory posts. This is appropriate stuff to include in a post if you're using it to make a point during discussion, and it's a good thing to establish your bona fides during discussion so everyone can evaluate what you're saying, but with numerous community members we run the risk of being overrun entirely with introductory posts. If you want to introduce yourself, pick a topic of discussion or a question for the crowd and post about it, with a paragraph on the bottom introducing yourself.

Let's start with the golden rule of BDSM and branch out from there, shall we?

1) This will be a safe environment -- there will be no harassment of other users because they happen to have a different opinion than you. There will be no personal attacks. There will be no baiting. If you're a dick, you'll be banned. Don't be a dick.

2) No matter which side of the whip we're on, we're all equals. We respect traditions, but we don't adhere to them. No quibbling about proper capitalization. And never assume that you deserve respect because you're the one holding the sharp object. There will be submissives here, but unless you've entered into a contract, they are not <i>your</i> submissives.

3) Sanity, as far as this community goes, means having a grasp on the difference between reality and fantasy. We're here to discuss an intense subject. This can make for a raw, emotionally-charged environment. Another's kink may not be your own; there is great diversity in this community. Respect that. Respect your limits. If you can't, you'll be banned.

4) Diversity aside, you need to stay on topic. This is a forum for the discussion of and questions about erotic power exchange, sensation and pain play, and the giving and accepting of control in order to get off. Off-topic posts will be deleted. Not sure if it's on topic? Feel free to ask. But if you have to ask, the answer's likely to be "no."

5) Be coherent. Be literate. Be polite. You do not leave your etiquette at the door -- this is a public space. If you can't act in an adult manner -- if you can't think before you type -- you're not welcome.

6) We are queer-friendly, trans-friendly, kink-friendly, polyamory-friendly -- and we're also straight-friendly, normal-friendly, monogamy-friendly, and just about any other kind of -friendly you can imagine. We respect diversity and require the same respect from community members.


<center><big><b>What isn't allowed here?</b></big></center>
Based on our experience moderating this communiy on LiveJournal, we've found it helpful to explicitly spell out the types of posts <b>not</b> allowed here:

<ul><li> Scene recaps or "what we did this weekend".
<li> Personal ads or "I'm looking for a master/mistress/sub". Find your soulmate, or at least your dungeonmate, elsewhere; there are many websites for such a purpose.
<li> Photos that do not contribute to a specific discussion point you're trying to make. No entirely-images posts, please; we're too lazy to comply with the rules regarding adult-image communities.
<li> "Hi, I'm new here" posts.
<li> Assholes. If you have to ask if you're being an asshole, you probably are.
<li> Community politics. Nobody's better or worse than anyone else because they submit or are submitted to. Check the egos at the doors.
<li> Spam of all kinds, including:
<ul><li> Promotions for other communities.
<li> Links to crafts, etc, you're selling. (Discussion of how/why you did it is okay, though.)
<li> Announcements for your events. We all don't live near you. Promise. Cross our hearts.
<li> Links to your porn site. (Not that the porn spammers hitting LJ ever read community userinfo, anyway.)
<li> Announcements for your zine or other venture. We'd probably mock it if we read it.</ul></ul>(All forms of spam will be deleted and the entry will be marked as spam. If you get enough legit spam reports made against you, you will be hearing from LJ Abuse. Half of your friendly maintainer team is one of the people who handle those reports, so this <em>really</em> isn't the community to spam.)



<center><b>The maintainers reserve the right to ban anyone at any time for violating any of these rules.</b>
If any of these rules seem too draconian on read-over, this probably isn't the community for you. There are a number of BDSM-centric communities on the internet that may better suit your needs.

<center><big><b>MEMBERS UNDER THE AGE OF MAJORITY</b></big></center>
(aka, the Cover Our Asses Clause)

This community will contain adult discussion. While it is not a violation of United States law to expose a minor to clinical discussion of adult topics, it can be a violation to expose a minor to text which is designed to arouse; it is usually a violation of both United States law to knowingly expose a minor to images containing nudity or other adult content; and it is always a violation of United States law for a minor to post any image of him or herself depicting nudity or intended to arouse or provoke.

Because of these statements, we ask that individuals not join the community unless they are over the age of 18, and we ask that all members refrain from posting images which contain nudity or other adult material if the images do not contain artistic value or contribute to the discussion topic at hand.

At this time, we do not feel it is necessary to require age-verification statements and make all posts to the community Friends Only, as this community will be primarily aimed towards discussion of the lifestyle and issues raised by the lifestyle rather than primarily designed to contain erotic writing or adult images. However, if we become aware that any member is under the age of 18, we will remove that individual from community membership.

We ask any community member to post any content which they feel may contain significant adult content with the Members Only (friends-only) security setting, and if the material may also fall under the United States laws regarding furnishing adult material to minors, with a <cut> tag clearly indicating it is adult material.

<b>In short, and without the legal garbage</b>:

You have to be 18 to post or read here. We're really very sorry about that. If we find out that you're under the age of 18, we have to remove you from the community. We think that's silly, because we think it's important for young people to have a safe forum to discuss this topic, where they can get safe, sane, and rational information without all the garbage, misinformation, and hysteria surrounding the topic. We don't make the laws, though. (The world would be different if we did.)

We've kept this an open community, because we're lazy. If we find that you're under 18, we will delete your posts and/or comments and ban you from the community, though. We're obligated to do this by law.

<b>Your maintainers are <username=sarahq> and <username=synecdochic>.</b> We can be reached at our Dreamwidth email accounts on a shockingly regular basis.

Interests (138):

acceptance, adult, age regression, alternative, alternative lifestyle, awareness, bdsm, biting, blindfolds, blowjobs, body modification, bondage, bottom, branding, burlesque, catharsis, chains, clamps, clothespins, collars, coming down, confession, consent play, control, corsets, crops, cuffs, cunnilingus, cutting, d&s, d/s, daddies, denial, dildos, discipline, discussions, dominance, dominant masochists, dominants, domination, dungeon psychotherapy, dungeons, edge play, endorphins, establishing contracts, exhibitionism, exploring personas, fantasy, fellatio, fetish, fetishes, fisting, floggers, flogging, gags, gender play, great sex, groping, handcuffs, headspace, healing damage, heavy play, humiliation, kink, kneeling, knife play, latex, leashes, leather, lifestyle, limits, lingerie, love, lust, masochism, masters, mentoring a novice, mind games, mistresses, needles, negotiation, obedience, oral sex, orgasm control, orgasm denial, orgasms, paddles, pain, petting, pierced parts, piercing, play party etiquette, pleasure, power exchange, public play, punishment, resistance, restraints, riding crops, rituals, role play, rope bondage, ropes, s&m, s/m, sadism, sado-masochism, safe sex, safewords, scenes, sensory deprivation, sensuality, serving, sex, slappers, slave, slave/master, slaves, spanking, spirituality, submission, submissive sadists, submissives, submitting, subspace, surrender, switches, switching, teasing, temporary piercings, tickling, top, touching, toys, training, whipping, whips, worship
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